Let me tell you a story, and you'll understand why.
Why would the other person's mother force her boyfriend to break up?
Why do conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law persist?
As a prospective daughter-in-law, you absolutely must understand the "power structure"—or what the landmines are.
Because everyone's power and status are unequal.
Class is the essence of the world; it will not change for anyone.
Why? You haven't felt it yet because you've been shielded too well.
Let me share a little story with you about "power."
A new employee named Xiaoxue, 25 years old, joined a new company with only six people.
Then the company assigned him to a 30-year-old colleague named Xiao Wang to help him get familiar with the environment. They've been getting along pretty well.
After all, one is young, the other has just entered middle age, yet both retain a youthful mindset—uninhibited and easygoing.
But what about it? Xiao Wang, there's also a 60-year-old supervisor named Xiao Rou above him.
The supervisor places greater emphasis on etiquette, urging Xiaoxue to integrate into the team as quickly as possible, learn the company culture, and master various tasks.
But Xiaoxue felt that her mentor was Xiao Wang, and the senior manager wasn't always present in his department.
So Xiao Xue still did things her own way, and the senior manager grew increasingly difficult toward him—after all, the more he watched, the more displeased he became.
Later, she even told her senior colleague Xiao Wang that work should be between us—what does it have to do with the big boss Xiao Rou?
(Landmine: Attempting to bypass the cultural founder, establish an independent faction, and undermine corporate culture)
(Plainly: I married this man, not his family.)
It also hinders the transmission of corporate culture, as many practices are built on accumulated experience and eventually crystallize into formal rules and regulations.
In the story above, it's easy to spot Xiao Xue's issue, but someone once asked: Why is the senior manager directing Xiao Wang's subordinates?
Sorry, this company only has six employees.
The big boss is my future mother-in-law.
Does the future mother-in-law possess leadership qualities that would inspire the newcomer, Xiaoxue, to be willing to learn?
Does the newcomer Xiaoxue demonstrate a willingness to learn, show courtesy, and integrate into the team?
Now, looking back, you—as a prospective daughter-in-law—are like Xiao Xue: you need to familiarize yourself with the environment and learn the culture of your new family.
A daughter-in-law who hasn't yet entered the family may feel her mother-in-law is picking on her, sometimes talking back, and some even go so far as to provoke their elders.
Your mother-in-law may lack leadership skills and have countless shortcomings, but as long as you want to stay at this company,
You can only change yourself to make them like you, or endure it.
In society, 99% of the time, seniority matters more than ability.
And families lack innovation, bypassing everyone.
It's not like you can just walk in the door and be "grandmother-level" right away.
So how do we get my mother-in-law to accept us? To avoid provoking hostility from her, honestly, it takes a long time.
Xiao Xue's social skills: How to gain acceptance from decision-makers while maintaining proper attitude and etiquette
Following a single man and becoming his wife—isn't it like changing jobs, requiring you to learn new skills and abilities?
You can say you don't want to deal with your boss (mother-in-law)—after all, you have plenty of reasons.
It's just like a regular job—if you don't like it, you quit.
But look at those who quit their jobs at 30 whenever they're unhappy—what decent career or fulfilling life do they have?
Within a power structure, what actions I take might be seen as "uncontrolled"?
Recognize power dynamics, accept reality, and adjust your mindset to transform yourself.
Generally speaking, in good families or wealthier households, if you can't win over the mother, you usually won't gain anyone's acceptance or understanding.
Even if you marry into the family, you won't be able to embrace its cultural traditions and family values.
Before she was even married into the family, she was already uncontrollable and unteachable.
Very self-centered, arrogant
Then on the very first day at the company, he wanted to be the general manager.
Such people can't fit into any group, so you can tell right away they're headed for divorce.
So just get rid of them sooner rather than later.
That's why you'd say the other girl's mom forced her to break up with you.
Because someone with extensive experience knows the real reasons behind stepping on landmines.
Now that you've finished reading this article, you should know why.
This kind of article is only for those whose families are at least middle-management level or higher, or whose parents run their own companies.
It's hard for anyone to explain to you how basic political power operates.
There's much more that hasn't been said; you can think about it yourself.
If you agree with the above, feel free to reach out to us to discuss how to effectively fulfill the role of a new hire.
