In recent years, individuals in sexless marriages have increasingly opted for divorce, such as the well-known artist Selina 's four-year marriage and Tsai Chin and Yang Dechang 's "platonic" marriage both ended in divorce.
It's not just busy professionals and entertainers surrounded by temptations who face the issue of sexless marriages. In one episode of Yu Meiren's talk show, the topic was " sexless marriages ." The absence of sexual intimacy in marriages creates distress between spouses and has become a common reality in today's society.
It's precisely because these individuals stood up and courageously divorced that we've come to realize how many sexless couples exist in today's society, and gained insight into what their marital lives truly entail.
A sexless marriage does not solely refer to a marriage completely devoid of sexual activity . Couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times a year, experience sexual incompatibility, or fail to achieve sexual satisfaction are considered sexless . Currently, the global prevalence of sexless marriages stands at 20%, and this figure continues to rise. This percentage is already quite alarming, equating to one in every five couples being in a sexless marriage.
You, or someone close to you—perhaps a friend or sibling—may be facing this very struggle. The pain is too deep, the words too hard to utter, leaving them unable to speak up or find understanding.
Married couples who are satisfied with their sex lives tend to have higher overall marital satisfaction. They are less likely to experience infidelity or extramarital affairs, and their likelihood of divorce is significantly reduced.
Seven Major Causes of Sexless Marriages
Even the most loving couples can drift into a sexless relationship. What are the primary causes of a sexless marriage? How can a couple united by love end up with no sexual intimacy, ultimately leading to divorce?
Life's pressures are overwhelming, leading to a loss of sexual desire.
In both daily life and work, every family faces certain pressures—financial, household chores, childcare, mother-in-law conflicts... These accumulated stresses can diminish sexual desire, leaving partners too drained to "please" each other. Over time, interest in intimacy naturally fades.
The passion has faded, leaving only the mundane necessities of daily life: rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, tea.
Love gradually wears away under the grind of reality, passion slowly eroded by the mundane details of daily life—the rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea. As all manner of arguments arise between two people, even leading to mutual loathing, how could there still be any desire to continue sleeping together?
Home flowers never smell as sweet as wildflowers; A third party has appeared.
The emergence of a third party is also a factor in sexless marriages; it is not merely a consequence of such marriages but conversely, one of the causes that leads to them.
The emergence of a third party has caused the breakdown of the marriage, with the husband preferring to pursue a physical relationship with his mistress rather than touch his own wife.
Sex and love are intrinsically linked. Whether a woman loves first and then has sex, or a man has sex first and then loves, the principle remains the same. Without love, there is no desire for intimacy; without desire for intimacy, love cannot endure. Once affection fades, the sexual connection inevitably withers away.
Communication has broken down.
Some couples cease sexual intimacy because one partner habitually refuses, while the other feels hurt and neglected. Without timely communication to resolve these emotional knots, the psychological barriers can lead to physical resistance to closeness.
Physical health factors
When one partner experiences physical issues—whether related to sexual organs or serious illness—that prevent marital intimacy, the relationship evolves into a sexless marriage. This situation is relatively easier to resolve; as long as the physical condition improves, there remains an opportunity to salvage and strengthen the marital bond.
The other half is gay.
Many same-sex individuals marry solely to fulfill their parents' expectations and carry on the family line. Once children arrive, they begin sleeping apart from their spouse, leading sexless lives or pursuing relationships with their true partners.
For the partner of such a person, if they don't want to live as a living widow, it's best to lay all the cards on the table and be clear. If divorce is the only option, then divorce—freeing each other to pursue their own happiness.
What is the outcome of a sexless marriage? Is divorce inevitable?
When sex disappears between two people, love disappears too. For sexless couples, beyond a small minority who endure for the sake of age or grown children, only two paths remain— divorce or develop an extramarital affair .
The divorce rate among sexless marriages is particularly high, whether due to an inability to endure such a life any longer or because one partner has developed an extramarital affair.
Sexual intimacy is the union of two souls and bodies, and it is the best time for mutual connection. Through the closeness experienced during union, partners become more understanding and deeply devoted to each other in daily life. A marriage lacking intimacy often leads to low self-esteem and infidelity. The partner who is consistently rejected experiences diminished self-worth and frustration, questioning their worthiness of love and their own appeal. This can trigger depression or extramarital affairs.
When either partner fails to find sexual fulfillment, they will seek it elsewhere. No matter how good things are at home, it can't compare to the thrill of a secret affair. Such exciting sex greatly satisfies vanity and the craving for excitement. A sexless marriage thus becomes the perfect excuse for an affair—since you can't give me sexual happiness, I'll go out and find my own springtime.
Precisely for this reason, sexless marriages have a high likelihood of infidelity and a high divorce rate.
